Wrong turn

What’s the meaning of life? Do we have goals or missions, that we have to finish until we get our happiness, and really understands what’s the meaning of life. How can we, us humans know that we are on the right track on our purpose?

We are currently 7,4 billion people and already 11,3 million deaths. How can we know that they had happiness or their biggest goal fulfilled? There are so much we can do with our life, that it’s almost impossible to know your life changing goal. I am one of those who doesn’t have a clue on what my purpose is. I thought I knew it, but everything changed in a second.

I can’t imagine to fulfill my dream, my dream has gone dark. Everytime I think about it, I starts to feel cold, sense the negative feeling I got that changed my mind. I was young, and started to think about what would I love to have as a job. I wanted it to be a job that I would love everyday, one you can’t get bored off. I wanted to show my good side and that was to help people. I have always cared about people or animal, no matter how they look or language. I want to understand and help. I knew already in 8th grade, that my purpose was to be a nurse. I got my mind set to it and I was dedicated. I put everything else away, cause I had to follow it, I knew that was the right thing to do.

But after school I started to work at a hospital, and it was amazing in the beginning. But each day that went away, I lost myself more. I wanted to be the best one, and with that I largehad to work hard. And with that cost I got myself sick. I was home for three months before they could figure out what my problem was, and I had a long way after that.

I know today, that my way back then was wrong. I destroyed my young dream and now I can’t think about being a nurse. It gives me so much pain and I really hate the idea. But I am not perfect and that’s okay. Maybe it wasn’t my purpose at all, but right then it felt right? But I have learned from it and it can only make me stronger. I hope that I will find my purpose soon, cause right know I feel empty and can’t figure out myself and on what’s the meaning of life.

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