Soon my first year of being a student is over, and believe me I’m looking forward to it. It has been a fun and educational year, where I have met some amazing people, whom I can proudly call friends. I thought it would be easy to be a student. That it would be like high school, but I was wrong.
I know today that I had too much hopes and goals. It’s a lot of positive with being a student, but right now I just feel the negative.
I have been struggling for many years to concentrate on school work. The reason for this is because I do not have enough motivation to work with things for several hours. I can manage to have a good routine for about 1 month, but then I will get out of the routine. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’ve got an explanation of why it’s just happening to me.
After I was told that I had hypothyroidism, many things fell into place. I get tired quickly, difficulty concentrating, difficulty hanging in conversations and at least learning. I can read half a page and I don’t remember what I read. These are typical symptoms with hypothyroidism. It’s not that I’m looking for attention and want people to see me, but this annoys me. Why should I have trouble learning, a person will be able to learn something after reading a page while I have to read it several times to learn a little bit of that page.
It’s tiring because I know that I spend a lot more effort learning things than anyone else does, but it’s not easy for everyone. I know that there are many who are struggling, with or without a cause. Especially now as it is an exam period, I have the frustration. I’m struggling to do something, but I have to make an effort because it’s after all the exam.
But how can I cope? What I’ve learned during this year is that I’m tiring myself out. I’m just destroying myself. This year has caused me problems with sleep, fatigue, stress, depressive thoughts and anxiety. Only thing I’m wondering now is how can I have it like this for 2 more years, when I do not even get good grades, I know I’m far below average on knowledge. Why should I care to spend more energy destroying myself even more?